Ten Life Strategies
1. YOU EITHER GET IT, OR YOU DON’T
Systems are at play – either you work out how to make the systems work for you or you don’t and you become a victim. Work out what really works to get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want and then go all in on what works. Figure out how to get along with people who can help you get what you want out of life. Do you know people just seem to cruise through life and things just work out for them? They get all the nice things, get the good jobs, hang around nice people, etc.. That has nothing to do with LUCK – it is because they have worked out how to make life happen like that, and you can too…
2. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT
How people perceive you and treat you is up to you – they take the lead from you and how you live your life. Learn to become more aware of the roles you are playing in life and be accountable for the impact you allow them to have on your life.
3. PEOPLE DO WHAT WORKS FOR THEM – EVEN IF IT DOESN’T
Everything we do in life has a reason behind it – it has a payoff that we either consciously or subconsciously want. Even anger is a payoff for those people who believe it is the only way for them to release their frustrations. Things like shyness, temper, sarcasm, mediocrity, showing off, and laziness can all be perceived as a payoff if they allow us to avoid situations we see as being hard or scary. If we believe we are getting a payoff, even if we are turning a blind eye to the negative consequences that may also be happening, then we will continue the behavior. The strategy here is to become more self-aware and being open to also seeing the negatives of our behaviours and not just the pay-offs. We must look to see if we are taking one step forward and being ignorant of the two (or more) steps backwards. Only when we become aware of the TRUE COST of our actions will we change.
4. NOTHING CHANGES UNTIL YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
We all do our best to try and trick ourselves into the belief that we have it all under control but often that is far from the truth – we are often in total denial. Until we start to acknowledge the real problems, even if it hurts like hell, then we can never improve. Peer pressure is often due to a lack of acknowledgment for one’s denial of their own beliefs and values – its exchanging our own beliefs for those of someone else. Denial is there to protect us from being uncomfortable – but that is where the good stuff is. Only when we accept responsibility will we then also take responsibility to change things and make them right.
5. LIFE REWARDS THOSE WHO GET INTO ACTION
BE committed, DO what it takes, HAVE what you want. Nobody cares about your bullshit. People don’t care about what you will do or what you mean to do; they only care about what you actually do. Dreams or plans have never made anyone successful or helped anyone achieve their goals in life – only getting into action can do that and nobody else is going to do it for you. No amount of positive thinking, dreaming, or wishing is going to help you if all you do is sit on the couch.
6. THERE IS NO REALITY, ONLY PERCEPTION
Everyone sees the world very differently. It is like we all have our own set of binoculars with different lenses. Have you ever noticed that a group of people can watch the very same movie and all have totally different perception of it? Is the world we live in the same as the movie – are we all watching the same movie and giving it different meaning? Our lens filters the world around us, the information we choose to accept as truth, how we see others, and more. What our lens lets through is all based upon our past life experiences – which may or may not be correct. Our lenses can often give us a skewed and incorrect perspective on the world which means we are closed off to new ideas, or give things incorrect meaning, and fill in gaps with our own assumptions. To combat this we often need to force ourselves to be open to new ideas, and not make judgements until we have taken the time to do some critical evaluation.
7. LIFE IS MANAGED – NOT CURED
Problems and people with different agendas to ourselves are a part of life we cannot avoid. Your problems are real (for you) and that is ok, as long as you have a process which allows you to deal them instead of just rolling onto your back and playing the victim game. Managing your life is more than just simple short term will-power, it is a long-term process. Management involves acknowledging the problem, defining your desired outcome, consider your options, make a path, do the steps required to resolve the problem (smart goals).
8. WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US
People are always looking at other people and making decisions about what they think and feel about the other person. They are deciding if you can add value to their life, or if they can add value to yours; if they can accept you, or if you will accept them. They are deciding how they should treat you based on what they see, hear, smell, and feel when they are around you. And how they continue to behave around you is determined by how you react to their behavior. Even your parents can be influenced by how you teach them to treat you – if you are smart you can get them to widen the boundaries. This rule applies to all areas of life and all people – not just parents. And finally you treat yourself how you teach yourself to treat you – and you should never expect other people to give you something you are not willing to give yourself. (law of reciprocity)
9. FORGIVENESS IS POWER
Emotional pain lasts long after it was first encountered and can impact our self-belief, confidence, and even make us a nasty person. The problem with holding onto emotional pain is that it can impact other areas of our life and even add other psychological and physiological problems to our lives (poor sleep, body tension, stress, and even heart problems). Even if the source of the emotional pain is punished or you get revenge the emotional pain will still be there – so what can you do?
Forgiveness is not about saying what happened is OK and letting the source of the pain off the hook; forgiveness is about you letting go of the attachment to the event, gaining emotional closure, and allowing yourself to put it all behind you and get on with living a quality life. Forgiveness is not a feeling – it is a decision you are entitled to. Forgiveness also has a positive effect on the people you care about in your life – it also gives them emotional closure as your emotional pain is eased and they get to have their happy person back.
10. YOU CANNOT HIT WHAT YOU DON’T AIM FOR
You cannot have what you want until you know what you want. It cannot be as simple as ‘you want to be happy’, because everyone wants to be happy, even your pets want to be happy – does that mean they all want the same thing? It cannot be as simple as ‘you want to be successful’ as once again everyone wants to be successful but it means different things to each person. Being very clear on the things you feel would make you happy and successful is very important to actually getting them. How will you know if you are heading in the right direction or not if you have no idea where you want to go. Tip: One way to be sure you are on target is by setting some SMART GOALS.
Love to know what strategies you use for your life… Do you use any of these or do you have others which you use?